The texts from the Roman Catholic Lectionary today challenge us to examine the role of forgiving others in our journey to fullness of life.
Forgiveness on the journey
The reading from the Book of Sirach cautions against anger and vengeance.
Does anyone nourish anger against another and expect healing from the LORD?1
Psalm 103 is a thanksgiving for God’s goodness.
* [Psalm 103] The speaker in this hymn begins by praising God for personal benefits (Ps 103:1–5), then moves on to God’s mercy toward all the people (Ps 103:6–18). Even sin cannot destroy that mercy (Ps 103:11–13), for the eternal God is well aware of the people’s human fragility (Ps 103:14–18). The psalmist invites the heavenly beings to join in praise (Ps 103:19–22).2
The reading from Paul’s Letter to the Romans declares “We do not live to ourselves, and we do not die to ourselves.”
* [14:8] The Lord: Jesus, our Master. The same Greek word, kyrios, was applied to both rulers and holders of slaves. Throughout the Letter to the Romans Paul emphasizes God’s total claim on the believer; see note on Rom 1:1.3
In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus teaches forgiveness using the parable of the unforgiving servant.
* [18:21–35] The final section of the discourse deals with the forgiveness that the disciples are to give to their fellow disciples who sin against them. To the question of Peter how often forgiveness is to be granted (Mt 18:21), Jesus answers that it is to be given without limit (Mt 18:22) and illustrates this with the parable of the unmerciful servant (Mt 18:23–34), warning that his heavenly Father will give those who do not forgive the same treatment as that given to the unmerciful servant (Mt 18:35). Mt 18:21–22 correspond to Lk 17:4; the parable and the final warning are peculiar to Matthew. That the parable did not originally belong to this context is suggested by the fact that it really does not deal with repeated forgiveness, which is the point of Peter’s question and Jesus’ reply.4
Eileen Wirth shares that one of the most useful models for forgiveness that she has encountered comes from AA, the step where the person in recovery makes amends to everyone they have hurt. It’s healing for both parties as she discovered when someone she is extremely close to went through the process.
You don’t have to be in a 12- step program to do it – just a simple note or phone call can help heal a broken relationship if both parties are open to it. It helps to recognize that we can become better, deeper and more compassionate people from experiencing the hurts others inflict on us. Would I have the inordinate number of amazing friends who have blessed my life if grade school hadn’t been so awful? Who knows, but we have to trust that “God writes straight with crooked lines.” If nothing else, we almost always feel better when we try to forgive and forget rather than cherishing favorite grudges. We know that God is merciful and understands our struggles so we’re not doing this unassisted. 5
Don Schwager quotes “How often shall I forgive?” by Hilary of Poitiers (315-367 AD).
"When Peter asked him whether he should forgive his brother sinning against him up to seven times, the Lord replied, 'Not up to seven times but up to seventy times seven times'" In every way he teaches us to be like him in humility and goodness. In weakening and breaking the impulses of our rampant passions he strengthens us by the example of his leniency, by granting us in faith pardon of all our sins. For the vices of our nature did not merit pardon. Therefore all pardon comes from him. In fact, he pardons even those sins that remain in one after confession. The penalty to be paid through Cain was established at sevenfold, but that sin was against a man, against his brother Abel, to the point of murder (Genesis 4:8). But in Lamech the penalty was established at seventy times seven times (Genesis 4:24), and, as we believe, the penalty was established on those responsible for the Lord's Passion. But the Lord through the confession of believers grants pardon for this crime. By the gift of baptism he grants the grace of salvation to his revilers and persecutors. How much more is it necessary, he shows, that pardon be returned by us without measure or number. And we should not think how many times we forgive, but we should cease to be angry with those who sin against us, as often as the occasion for anger exists. Pardon's frequency shows us that in our case there is never a time for anger, since God pardons us for all sins in their entirety by his gift rather than by our merit. Nor should we be excused from the requirement of giving pardon that number of times [i.e., seventy times seven], since through the grace of the gospel God has granted us pardon without measure." (excerpt from ON MATTHEW 18.10)6
The Word Among Us Meditation on Sirach 27:30–28:7 notes that when Sirach wrote these words two thousand years ago, he was clued into something that modern psychologists are only now coming to understand. Withholding forgiveness affects our physical and mental health. It can elevate our blood pressure, disrupt our sleep, and weaken our immune system. It can decrease our ability to trust people and reinforce a negative mindset about life. Why would we “hug tight” to these things that harm us? Only forgiveness can help us loosen our grip.
God knows everything we’ve gone through: the ways we’ve been hurt and the ways we’ve hurt the people around us. He forgives us, like the master in today’s Gospel. If we can let God’s forgiveness soften our hearts and break through our guilt, shame, and sadness over the hurts we have caused, we will find the grace to act the same toward the people who have hurt us. If you’re struggling with a grudge or offense, bring it to God in prayer. Ask him to help you release your hold on anger, even if you feel justified. Forgive the person who hurt you even if you can’t physically reconcile with them. Let the act of forgiveness bring you peace and help you move on.7
Friar Jude Winkler connects the Book of Sirach to the desire to show Jewish wisdom was as great as the Greek wisdom that came to their culture after the conquest of Alexander the Great. Holding anger is like drinking a poison cup, according to Nelson Mandela. Friar Jude reminds us that our life in Christ has a purpose to give to those around us.
Fr. Richard Rohr, OFM, comments that Christianity, in its mature forms, keeps pushing us toward the necessary tragic: “the foolishness of the cross,” as Paul calls it (1 Corinthians 1:18). Normally, the way God pushes us is by disillusioning us with the present mode. Until the present falls apart, we will never look for something more. We will never discover what it is that really sustains us. That dreaded falling-apart experience is always suffering in some form. All of us hate suffering, yet all religions talk about it as necessary. It seems to be the price we pay for the death of the small self and the emergence of the True Self—when we finally come to terms with our true identity in God.
We must trust the pain and not get rid of it until we have learned its lessons. The suffering can be seen as a part of the great pattern of how God is transforming all things. If there is one consistent and clear revelation in the Bible, it is that the God of Israel is the one who turns death into life (see Isaiah 26:19; Romans 4:17; 2 Corinthians 1:9). When we can trust the transformative pattern, and that God is in the suffering, our wounds become sacred wounds. The actual and ordinary life journey becomes itself the godly journey. We trust God to be in all things, even in sin and suffering.8
The maturing we experience walking with Christ opens our hearts to extend forgiveness and accept transformation.
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